The Light is Going Out.

I know a girl who used to light herself on fire. I know a woman who stuck it to the man. I know a girl who punched a grown man in the face. I know a girl who walks on tip-toes by trade. I know a girl who makes it feel worthwhile. I know a girl who took down a troll. & I know a girl who's body is shutting down.


I have dreams where I will yell at everyone. Telling them how stupid they are, & that they have no backbones. That they're living in a world of shit they've created. That it's bullshit. BULLSHIT. I call it out. I string it out. I'm strung out. & they just hold their wine glasses & twirl their pearl necklaces. & throw their heads back in fake laughter that I can't hear. & they can't hear me either.

Back to the drawing board.

Destroyer.

We climbed through an open window like thieves. Landed with a thud. The house was empty. & instead of feeling welcome & pleased, I felt forgotten & alone. I destroyed a perfectly innocent cookie. I crushed it in my hand & I jammed most of it in my mouth until I wanted to throw it up. I threw folded cloth around & yelled "Why do I try to be perfect & they love me less, & the fucked up low life they care for more!" I kept throwing things, & picking up more things & throwing them, & I yelled "I hate this world, I really hate it! It's full of living trolls, & the worst of tramps, & thieving thieves!" & I stopped throwing, I sat & cried, the first real desperate crying I've done in a long while. Hopeless tears. & all he could do was hug me & tell me it was okay, & the world wasn't all bad. & I made a river on his shoulder, & said "Thank you for talking to me like I'm real." & then we cleaned up my path of destruction with no words left.