Delicate

Nothing is feeling real anymore except for the nightmares. & then I wake up & they're not real.

I want to cut all my hair off, I want to dress like a boy, I want to be the exact opposite of me. I want to be someone else, please. No one seems real. There is such a turn over in my life. I cut out people that I didn't believe were good for me. I want to be off the grid. I want alone time.

I want to bury myself in the cool ground & sleep for a couple of light years. & claw my way out when the world has changed.
I wanted to send out messages to all my phone contacts asking if they were real, so I could see if they would tell me the truth.

Instead I hit delete. Delete. Delete. DELETE. DELETE. Delete.

& I work very hard at appearing fearless & strong. But I'm beginning to believe that some people aren't just cut out for this earth. By some people, I mean me.